Since my friends (new window) helped me out with partner problems in China, I was obliged to entertain them at a venue of their choice.

“Let us all meet in ‘Fuk Thin - Shui Wai’ (a place across the border in Shenzhen) and enjoy for the night” suggested Henry, a Hong Kong entrepreneur with large interests in China.

Upon reaching ‘Shui Wai’ at around 7:00 PM on Monday, February 16, 2004, the first remark from Henry was…

“You shouldn’t be driving your own car. While this area is safe, your car could be stolen, or drunk people could vandalize it.”

“Thanks buddy, but your kind suggestions are a tad too late. Yes? Besides, I hate traveling in those horrible vomit color cross border buses…”

“We have invited some girls” continues Henry, “and they are quite gorgeous and beautiful”.

“Hookers?” I ask.

“No, no… they work for a decent sauna we frequent and they are well mannered and cultured. Sex is not part of their sauna service”.

“Good, good” I nod in agreement, but wonder why Henry would want to invite a bunch of Mother Teresa devotees if we were going out to enjoy?

Soon a gang of four girls arrive. One look at them and I am sure these are no Mother Teresa devotees. Not that they look vulgar or unsophisticated, but their naughty eyes reveal it all.

One thing I like about Henry is that he always remembers everyone’s likes and dislikes. Perhaps, that is what has made him a successful entrepreneur in China. It seems Henry has strictly instructed the girls to dress in blouse and skirts, as Henry is aware just how I hate (most) women in jeans, pants, or trousers.

Most women who dress in jeans or pants are probably unaware about the ugliness of their underwear lining sticking out. The alternative is to put on low hip jeans exposing the underwear (sort of current trend). But even that has its ugliness, especially if the underwear choice and the figure is horrible.

Few women I have seen; look gorgeous in jeans or pants. Long shapely legs and taller than average figure are two most important prerequisites in such case. And of course, a careful selection of either T-Back, Thongs, or no underwear is mandatory for such women.

But then most (not all) women don’t know how to select appropriate underwear and I am the last person willing to educate on such matters. Either she is smart and conscious or she is not. Period.

My eyes voyeur Ling Ling’s figure - 36″ (natural C) 24″ 35″. Sharp facial features, fair complexion, jet black hair, and almost 5′ 6″ tall. Why would such a beauty be stuck working in sauna is totally besides me. Though the hard work of giving massage to her clients has definitely paid off for her (figure).

Man Man, Ting Ting, and Yan Yan also have similar figures but the extremely naughty look in Ling Ling’s eyes does it for me all.

Anyway, so begins our Shenzhen nightlife which eventually turned out to be wild, sexy, and crazy. Read on…

Henry, a successful entrepreneur with factories in China, and a very good friend of mine, is a easy go lucky person, albeit, with sharp brains and mind. Lucky enough that is; to have two very trustworthy subordinates (especially since he is in big business) - James and Carl, who in my opinion score better than most Hong Kong executives. All of us are familiar with each other and James as well as Carl know my taste, likes and dislikes.

What they perhaps don’t know is that I hate when red wine is served with ice cubes (odd and usual practice in many parts of China) and large dashes of Sprint/Seven Up (soda) mixed in it.

Sitting on the host chair (Chew Yan Wai - or the head of the table) in the VIP room, I agree to red wine from France. HK$2,000 per bottle and I am sure some jerk must have bottled it in his backyard in Harbin, China. Why else would they want to mix soda and ice cubes in red wine so that you never know the original taste?

But Henry, James, and Carl find the wine “soft, smooth, and beautiful”. I take a sip and smile. If this is what they like, I could supply them hundreds of bottles of daily horse pee from Hong Kong Jockey club.

Ling Ling, Man Man, Ting Ting, and Yan Yan decline the offer to taste the wine. A first sign that they are perhaps smarter than Henry Inc., at least when it comes to their wine and food choice.

The recent scare of Avian Flu, SARS, and other diseases ensures that everything ordered is seafood and vegetables. Since Ling Ling and Yan Yan are sitting on either side of me, I ask them to help me out.

I hate eating seafood for the very reason that I hate monkeying around with chopsticks and hands. Soon I find Ling Ling feeding me with her chopsticks. Yan Yan also joins the feeding game, while Henry and I have small talk as they carry on…

Ting Ting and Man Man start feeding Henry as well. He is seated exactly opposite me and therefore is the chief guest. James and Carl help themselves and I wish there were four more girls around. I make a mental note of inviting four more girls when in disco. However, I do notice the remarkable “Ba Gua” (octagon shape) pattern of seating arrangement with James and Carl on center chairs, a good Feng Shui sign protecting the east and west.

Stepping out of the Chinese restaurant, Ling Ling and Yan Yan find it very appropriate to hold my arms on each side.

The disco is called “Wai Lei See” and on the backside of first floor, they have a comfortable professional dancing floor with booths of luxurious couches surrounding the floor.

There are also communal tables (each booth or table is appropriately priced for a minimum amount) scattered around the floor. Most of these are occupied by unfaithful Hong Kong Chinese wives who are dressed in rowdy teenage costumes or horrible net-patterned see-through clothes. They keep smoking “Dai Ma” (also known as Ngau Ngau, Chou, or in other words a cheap variant of “grass/pot”).

Since I am particularly against drugs, I loudly announce to everyone in our group in our large booth (as I plan for more company)…

“Anyone in our group who has drugs or is a drug addict may go home now.”

I say this despite a possibility of offending (Dut Chwui) either Henry, James, or Carl for whom I am hosting everything tonight. Turns out no one in our group has drugs or is a drug addict.

Soon two small buckets (normal practice) of half dozen Heineken beer immersed in ice cubes arrive. And another attendant brings 4 small plastic containers/mugs with dice.

It is a general practice that those drinking beer will most probably end up playing dice game. The game is called “Dai Wa Sek” in Cantonese Chinese. Which means that you are supposed to lie to your opponent about the power of your (hidden) dice.

Your opponent also lies to you and finally whoever has the most powerful dice, wins. The loser, of course must drink beer for her/his punishment (of losing).

It is very difficult for me to teach this game in a short article here, but the dice have spots marked on them. Considering that each dice has six sides to it (square shape), each side has a particular combination of dots. One side is marked with a single red dot and the other with 6 black dots. The remaining sides are marked with increasing black dots as in 2,3,4,5.

The red single dot is very powerful as it can substitute any number of dots and is something like a King in playing cards.

There are 5 such dice in each plastic container/mug and you shake the container/mug on the table surface or in the air (if you are an expert) and listen to the sound of the jiggling dice (in your own container/mug).

If you are an expert, just the sound of jiggling dice in your container/mug can tell you your combination. Of course, you can control the combination by changing the jiggling dice sounds. Anyway, it is an art and needs much practice, patience, and above all - brains.

Usually, you are playing with a single opponent and both of you will hide your dice and look at the power of your dice by slightly lifting off the container/mug off the table (at an angle).

More experienced people (like yours truly) can use the edge of the container/mug to immediately change the dice power (at any given time) in a blink of an eye without your opponent being aware of your smart move. Yes, this is cheating but requires a very fast movement of your hand, eye, brain co-ordination. In a sense it has the principles of geometry, physics, etc. all associated with it.

Drinking with girls, one may not want to be such an expert. But if playing dice while gambling, your skills with dice could make you or lose you several tens to hundred thousands or even as high as one million (Hong Kong dollars).

Anyway, Ling Ling who figures that since I am a Gweilo (foreigner), I must be poor at “Dai Wa Sek” (dice game) skills. And so she confidently announces that …

“If you lose, you drink one (small) bottle of Heineken - bottoms up (Kong Pui - Cantonese or Geng Pei- Mandarin), and if I lose, you can have a “Da Khei Lun” (deep and tongue to tongue kiss) with me”.

Such a stupid woman! I look at Ling Ling and give her my most charming smile (which is supposed to be a warning that you are already done). I pretend to think for a while and even show her that I am a bit afraid (of course pretending) of the rules of this game.

After thinking for a minute, I tell her…

“Yes, if I lose, I drink the small bottle of Heineken bottoms-up, but if you lose, you will not just let me have a “Da Khei Lun” but alongside “Da Khei Lun”, I can grope you anywhere I want. What say you?”

Ling Ling immediately consults her “Chi Mui” (not real sisters but sort of sisters) Man Man, Ting Ting, and Yan Yan by whispering in their ears.

After giggling for a while, they all agree and Yan Yan even goes further and offers to pair up with Ling Ling against me… “Dhai Ha Gweilo Kei Lek?” (Let us see how smart Gweilo or foreigner or in this case yours truly = Ron is!).

Another charming smile flashed at both of them and I propose….

“OK, if I lose to you as a pair (meaning both playing the same container/mug dice game with combined judgment), every time I lose I will drink two small bottles of Heineken - bottoms up. But should you (as a pair) lose to me, I will have “Da Khei Lun” with both of you and grope both of you wherever I want. Deal?”

“Deal” say both in unison as if totally sure that it must be me who would lose.

What did I tell you? These were no Mother Teressa devotees but could probably teach Mother Teresa to strip and table dance.

So starts our Dai Wa Sek game where I deliberately lose the first round. “Awwwwww” they both excitedly jump up and while looking at each of them (Ling Ling and Yan Yan) I finish off two (small) bottles of Heineken, bottoms up.

Henry laughs out loud. He has every reason to, as he has lost around one million two hundred Hong Kong dollars to me in past 6 years in, well, Dai Wa Sek games, with a bet of several tens of thousands per game.

While Henry, James, and Carl are also playing Dai Wa Sek with Ting Ting and Man Man, I (deliberately) lose one more round to Ling Ling and Yan Yan. They are overjoyed, as in, their joy knows no bounds. Ha ha!

Third round and within less than a minute both lose. They cast (genuine) alarmed glances at each other. OK, who will be first? Of course Ling Ling!

While Ling Ling tries to shrink back in the deep couch, I spring up, gently hold her face and the first Da Khei Lun…

“Your nose bridge is too tall…”

“I don’t give a damn” saying which I gently rest my hand on her thigh and move it all the way up her thigh. A sweet shiver (from her).

Yan Yan, in the meantime, is already trying to escape by walking past Ling Ling and me.

“Not so fast baby….” I gently sit her down.

One thing to remember when you go to such places and sit your women on couches in the booth is to always let them sit inside. Meaning that they should sit behind the coffee table (and inside) where their exit is blocked on both sides by you and your friend. This is another rule of sitting arrangement. That is, if you don’t want to end up as a cash paying “boo boo” without any chance for fun.

Seeing me kiss, grope, and hug both Ling Ling and Yan Yan, soon enough three sales girls appear. One is selling flowers (a small but decent bouquet of roses), 50 Renminbi for a bouquet. Flowers for all I say and each lady gets a bouquet. Following behind is another girl selling wrist bands with crystallized lights (the one supposed to change colors with disco rhythm lights), 30 Renminbi for one. Well, again each lady gets one. The third one comes equipped with a Polaroid camera.

No bloody way! I am the last person to have my picture taken with a woman I meet just for one night. Arranging Ling Ling and Man Man together, I ask her to take their picture (record for my diary). 20 Renminbi and they have their picture full of fun. So do others. Smartly, even Henry stays out of pictures. James and Carl being desperate, try their best to hug all four… one more picture… The difference between subordinate and boss.

After the three sales girls leave, two more appear. Both selling tiny and odd stuffed toys (teddy bear and all that).

“I get turned off if my women play with this kind of stuff” I tell them in fluent Mandarin Chinese. They nod and leave.

All of a sudden, another gorgeous woman appears and sits besides me while giving me a light hug. Soon she fishes her business card. Looking at the Chinese business card, I realize that she is the captain of the place.

“Come here often” she says. I nod and smile and give her a kiss and a hug. Not a bad dish after all.

Time for everyone to dance, they say.

“Hold on… everything isn’t alright” and I again summon the captain lady.

“Do you have a place nearby where they sell flat comfortable ladies shoes?” I ask, despite knowing it is damn late at night.

She looks puzzled. I point at the footwear of all girls and again tell her in fluent Mandarin…

“If they dance with these on, hospitalization for them could only be the way out”.

She nods and understands. Professional enough, she soon takes their sizes and indirectly remarks to me that 500 Renminbi should cover them all.

While she is gone, I eye a group of what looks like a bunch of university student girls. Having observed them for about half hour, I am sure they are not accompanied by men and have come for fun all by themselves.

Without announcement, I walk over to them on the dance floor and hold the one who looks aggressive enough.

“Two of my friends think you and your ‘Chi Mui’ (sort of sisters) dance very gracefully.”

“Really?” she asks and continues in Mandarin “where are you from?”

“Mars” I say and gently pull her over while holding her waist as she stops her dance. Her friends (Chi Mui) soon surround us and cheer. Trying to hold all of them by placing my hands on their backs, I drag the crowd to our couch.

“These two” I point at James and Carl “think you are all great and must have studied dance as one of your extra-cocular activities”.

Now we have 10 women and 4 guys in the booth.

“Cheers!” I say as I drink one more (small) bottle of Heineken - bottoms up.

Soon more beer, flowers, wrist bands, pictures, and shoes are ordered for the new arrivals as well… and we drink and cheer, what a loud happy crowd.

While the new arrivals get intimate with (especially) James and Carl, I continue my game of Dai Wa Sek with Ling Ling and Yan Yan and by now I have groped them everywhere (imaginable).

“Let us dance” announces Ling Ling and I join both Ling Ling and Yan Yan on the dance floor. I do not usually dance in public and neither do I on that night. My sole responsibility, it seems, is to stop them from falling down.

Bending their waist backwards to almost 90 degrees and throwing their heads behind, both Ling Ling and Yan Yan keep shaking their heads (and hair) vigorously on the beats of Canto-Pop drums. I place my arms under their waist(s) so that both of them don’t fall down.

The two Hong Kong DJ(s) smile at me from their booth and bark in their microphone whether they should come and help me out? I just shake my head and smile.

45 minutes of dancing and actually my holding them, we all return to the couch. By now, James and Carl are already kissing and groping the new arrivals , names of whom, I can’t be bothered to remember.

Soon James and Carl leave with the 6 new arrivals as Henry winks at me so that I understand they could only go to a hotel nearby.

Ling Ling, either too exhausted or a little bit drunk, or her ego injured or whatever, feels that I did not get enough punishment. Another stupid suggestion from her…

She has already formed a habit of calling my Chinese name - “Ba Lok”. It is a name of a guy from Chinese history and “Ba Lok” was supposed to be a visionary who was very wise. Actually, my wife has given me this Chinese name, simply because Ron Bach translated in Chinese sounds pretty much like “Ba Lok” (other way round - as in last name first).

There is also a Chinese saying associated with this name - “Sin Yau Ba Lok, Yin Hou Yau Cheen Lai Ma”. Which means, only after Ba Lok’s wisdom and vision was recognized, people could ask Ba Lok’s judgment as to which horses were powerful enough to run (non stop) for 1000 miles. The saying is not just related to horses, but like everything else in Chinese, runs pretty deep.

Anyway, having lost her lid, Ling Ling thus suggests….

“Let Ba Lok drink ‘Lik Chou’ (strong Chinese wine with alcohol 60~70%) and let us see how smart he really is…”

“Sure” I say, “but only if you join me in bottoms-up”.

To which both she and Yan Yan agree. One normal (water) cup of “Lik Chou” (bottoms-up) and both Ling Ling and Yan Yan carry the expression like they are standing at the gates of hell. Of course, how could they have known my drinking capacity? (new window)

Seeing Yan Yan’s facial muscles twitch and pucker, I realize this can only mean that within less than one minute she will throw-up.

Steering her well outside the booth and on to the aisle, I hold her. For some reason, she thinks we are leaving and gets her purse as well as the flowers. 10-9-8-7-6-5 and… puke. Puke like hell!

Looking at her puke, I find her artistic enough to puke in the bouquet of flowers she is holding. What a sight! Perhaps this was the most romantic (or not!) angle and posture of a woman puking (throwing up or vomiting) in her bouquet of flowers!

I have no intention to look at the bouquet or the (what was supposed to be) red roses within. By now, Henry who also looks like he is about to go to sleep (he has a spare apartment nearby) calls it quits by handing over a key to me. 21-B, is what is inscribed on the key of the same building where Henry has the spare apartment. Well, this means he has more than one spare apartment.

While Ting Ting and Man Man make sure that Yan Yan is comfortable and takes a ride back home in a taxi, I walk with Ling Ling to… well 21-B. Soon Ting Ting and Man Man also join Henry who just closes the door of the opposite apartment, 21-D.

Preparing coffee for me in 21-B just in her underwear, Ling Ling remarks…

“You are a strange and odd man. How long have you been in Hong Kong/China?”

“10 consecutive lives” I answer and wink.

Soon she goes to the bathroom and after 5 minutes emerges in a towel wrapped around her.

“Let us have a French bath”.

“Sorry?” I ask, a bit puzzled.

“French bath, totally naked”.

“Oh…” the odd terms these girls working in Chinese Sauna come up with.

Carefully placing my business suit in the wardrobe rack and ensuring my passport is well and intact, I join her in the shower.

“No soap or shampoo. We have not had sex yet. Just hot shower…”

One and a half hour later and almost at 04:30 AM, I am surprised to see two Chinese men standing guard near my car (outside the Chinese restaurant). Places in ‘Fuk Thin - Shui Wai’ are but a walking distance.

“Henry asked us to guard your car” both smile.

Giving them 200 Renminbi each, I smile and say “Mafan Nee” (sorry to trouble you).

Driving back across the border and on the Chinese side of immigration (Huangguang), the familiar immigration officer smiles back at me as I hand him my papers.

“Having fun with women again?” he asks.

Smiling and shifting the gear I salute him and drive onwards to Hong Kong.

Not a bad night…

Note: Other episodes of night life in China to continue under this thread. What happened after a few days coming up next…

Posted by Ron at 08:16 PM in China, Diary | Permalink
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Comments

Very nice. You make us feel like we are there and please write more.

Posted by: Matt | Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 10:11 PM

Way to go Ron! Were you speaking Manadrin/Contonese to these girls the whole night? Or was it mostly English?

Posted by: Gary | Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 10:13 PM

Thanks Matt and Gary…

Mandarin/Cantonese throughout the night. They can’t speak English.

Cheers!

Posted by: Ron | Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 10:15 PM

Is your wife reading this?

Posted by: mark | Monday, February 23, 2004 at 05:01 AM

No Mark, she isn’t (yet). Even if she somehow did read it, I don’t think that would create any problems for me.

She manages part of my business and is aware how these things are integral part of business in China, and especially mainland China.

Read some early articles at this site where I have explained these customs and traditions (girlie entertainment) while doing business in China.

Cheers!

Posted by: Ron | Monday, February 23, 2004 at 07:22 AM

lol…i thought u said they aren’t hookers…

Posted by: A | Monday, February 23, 2004 at 12:18 PM

A,

I wouldn’t say they are hookers as they did not ask for any money or favor.

Maybe they could be classified in a category of ambitious girls trying to find some secure (side) relationship.

Whatever…

If you are the same A - as I am not sure (fan of Jessica), I will be posting the results of Miss Chinese soon. A bit tied up at moment, but should be able to post in afternoon.

Cheers!

Posted by: Ron | Monday, February 23, 2004 at 12:29 PM

oh, i take it that mymy won right? =(

Posted by: A | Monday, February 23, 2004 at 02:19 PM

Thanks for your story. I enjoyed it very much. Sounds like a lot of fun. Anyway I’m flying out to Hong Kong tomorrow for the first time, to visit various trade shows in Shenzhen and Guangzhou for 8 days or so and I would be grateful if you could give me any pointers, or any bars, clubs restaurants etc.. to visit similar to those you mention.

Andy

Posted by: Andy | Sunday, March 14, 2004 at 06:07 AM

Andy,

Bars/karaoke/clubs, etc. in Hong Kong shouldn’t be a problem and if you go to the decent ones (you can tell by their premises and address - avoid Mong Kok area) everything should be great.

About places in China, my advice is that you don’t go alone to such places at all. Decent or otherwise.

China is a tricky country and recently hordes of thugs from Xinjiang province have spread their network in Shenzhen.

Oddly, Xinjiang people are allowed to carry knives with them as it somehow ties to their religion. Or so I have heard from police friends in China.

And these days such people are a bit aggressive in China.

I am not trying to scare you or anyone else, but I still advise that you do not go anywhere (unfamiliar) alone.

Try to get in touch with someone you can trust and someone who can also guide you.

The best bet would be one of the hosts of the trade fair(s) but then be careful what you do even if with them.

Having casual sex with anyone in China other than your girlfriend or wife is illegal. Even if you don’t pay for the sex, they will most definitely treat the case as prostitution.

In Shenzhen, the new law is that even if you pay the fines, get your passport stamped (so that you cannot return to China for a period of time), your wife contacted and informed, you still have to sit in prison for 5 days.

I am not kidding you and this is not a “Victorian Guidebook”, but if you cannot even speak their language, then just enjoy in Hong Kong which is much more safe as far as you don’t cross the boundary of law or get involved with triads or shady characters.

You can email me and ask specific questions and I will try my best to answer as promptly as I can.

To see more information about China massage sauna .

To see more information about China .